A friend kindly sent me this photograph of my driveway in Maine. It was a long winter there, as it was everywhere in New England, and I have not been able to go to Maine since Christmas, so it is a treat to see my daffodils in bloom, such a reminder that May does follow the cruelest month, and that things are renewed again and again.
I have been mostly silent on this blog because for 18 days I have been spending hours each day in the hospital at Martin's bedside and have been wrung out by evening. Friends have stopped by again and again, bringing food and wine and conversation and sympathy and yes, even laughter , such an important commodity in tough times.
Tomorrow he will be discharged and I will take care of him myself with help from Hospice nurses and aides. It won't be easy. But if it's possible, people should be in their homes, with their famliies...and dogs! Martin is so eager to see Alfie!...as their lives come to an end. Hospitals are astonishingly noisy; privacy is a lost cause; the food sucks; and there is never a parking place. Aside from that?...well, the doctors and nursing staff are dedicated and compassionate (though overworked) and the technology is state of the art. There is much to marvel at and to be grateful for.
But now it is time to come home.
Dear Lois,
I will be thinking of you both as you make this journey together.
Portia Pennington
Posted by: Portia Pennington | May 13, 2011 at 05:57 AM
Being home (especially with family and dogs) can be such a comfort in itself. Best wishes to you, Martin, and the rest of your family during this hard time.
Posted by: Annie | May 13, 2011 at 06:07 AM
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Michael Gettel-Gilmartin
Posted by: Michael Gettel-Gilmartin | May 13, 2011 at 08:34 AM
Hospitals are a suspension of reality where one has very little control. Home is the place you need to be to feel the reality and appreciate the home that you have made together. Thinking of you.
Posted by: anne | May 13, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Lois, you and your husband are in my thoughts.
Betty Birney
Posted by: Betty Birney | May 13, 2011 at 01:14 PM
Heaven. Now there's a thought. Nothing has ever been able, ultimately, to convince me we live anywhere else. And that heaven, more a verb than a noun, more a condition than a place, is all about leading with the heart in whatever broken or ragged state it's in, stumbling forward in faith until, from time to time, we miraculously find our way. Our way to forgiveness, our way to letting go, our way to understanding, compassion and peace.
It is laughter, I think, that bubbles up at last and says, "Ho, I think we are there." And that 'there' is always here.
--Alice Walker
Posted by: ojimenez | May 13, 2011 at 08:24 PM
You have been in my thoughts and will continue to be, we will all make the journey home.
Thank you for your blog. my students are finished with reading The Giver, but they are still thinking of the themes and ideas. I continue to work it in to the daily lesson - some connection to folklore (our current unit) or a life lesson... learning never ends.
Posted by: Clay | May 14, 2011 at 05:36 AM
Home is indeed where the heart is. You are so open to share this with us, and I thank you for reminding me about all that is truly important in life. My thoughts are with you and yours.
Posted by: Jessika | May 17, 2011 at 06:25 PM
My thoughts are with you and your family, Lois. Praying for you and Martin in this difficult time.
Posted by: Jennifer Fischer | May 17, 2011 at 08:29 PM
Our way to forgiveness, our way to letting go, our way to understanding, compassion and peace.
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